i'm sorry.
i know i haven't been the nicest person around. i haven't been the easiest person to live with. i don't hate any of you really.
its just a silly phase i guess. i dunno how to deal with it yet. i haven't figured out how to fight the demons in me. i think i fear too much. and they develop into these resentment towards people. maybe i just expect way to much of myself.

i don't want to be me now.
i just want to get away from all this familiarity for a while and find myself again.
i lost myself somewhere in between.

my longing becomes a habit that develops into a desperation. an emotion that is unneccessary.
everything so simple back then is now so complicated.
its tiring to pretend that everything is ok, or that it doesn't matter.
i'm lucky i know. i've got everything i need to sustain me.
i've got a nice home. a wonderful family. a bundle of amazingly amazing friends. i've got so much to be thankful for. yet i'm ashamed to say, i forget my blessings sometimes and maybe tomorrows.

forgive me
pardon my wilfulness
pardon my playfulness
pardon my resentment
pardon my ignorance
pardon my obsession
pardon my annoyance
pardon my impatience
pardon my indifference
pardon my stubborness
pardon my selfishness
pardon my aloofness