bare with me ok? i'm just complaining.

i have a sudden fetish for trees recently.
i think trees are really intriging.
i think trees are really pretty.
i don't know much about trees.
i just enjoy looking at them.
especially those with pretty white flowers.

last night was depressing really.
maybe we're jaded, maybe we're weary.
we sat by the road side and binged on instant noodles and twisties and a drink.
how could this be happening when its onlythe beginning?

it was an ave up night
at an ave up place
with ave up people.
it just has to worsen the situation we are already in.
the situation we call life.
or are we just throwing a pity party for our own sorry asses.
are we just playing hard to be contented.
its the beginning of our lives and it has to start on a wrong note.
i hope it couldn't get any worser.
or is this just an intro to what's more to come?
i seriously hope not.
its pathetic really.

is this karma?

i searched hard for answers,
but it seemed the more i probed the more disappointment i felt.
i tried to find the answers in you,
but everything ive done is unrequited and in vain.
maybe i should stop searching for answers,
maybe there isn't any.
and these so called 'answers' are just traps to keep us searching
when in fact at the end of the day,
the answers are 'there are no answers'.
maybe there are answers afterall,
and we may know it, but its not what we wanted to hear,
so we choose to be in denial.

am i making any sense at all?

lost in you - garth brookes
heaven knows - rick price
nobody knows - tony rich project
best i ever had - vertical horizon

it doesn't get any better then this does it.
why?
i'm seriously starting to think the big man upstairs must really hate me.
why oh why?